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Writer's pictureLesli Dullum Tutterrow

Who Gets Your Personal Power?

Who gets your power? Before you answer that let’s talk about what I mean by “your power.” I’m not talking about the kind of power that comes from a light switch, or running a marathon. I’m not referring to athletes who can power out scoring a touch down, dunk a basket or cross a finish line.

We live in a world that has a lot to say about external power- How strong you are physically, and what you can accomplish outwardly for all the world to see. We hear stories of someone with a lot of money and/ or political power and they are either using that power to do some good in the world, or they are using it for their own selfish ambitions… We hear of rulers of countries using their power to harm their own people, and we hear of people in power donating millions of dollars to help people and the planet. While we cannot control what people in power do, there is one type of power we can and ought to control.

The kind of power I’m referring to here is your internal personal power. Acting from a place of accessing your own internal personal power is the KEY to your life now and in the future.

This kind of power is solely up to you. You can influence it greatly. This is a type of power you may not even have ever thought of. It’s unlikely that your parents, friends or coworkers speak of it, as it is often not thought about.

This kind of power says I have a choice. I have a choice about how I think about myself and others. This kind of power says I am valuable- not because I am the star athlete or because I get straight A’s or because I make a lot of money…

This is the kind of power that when someone is behaving in a way that is unkind, you can step back and say, you know this isn’t even about me,- clearly this person has some issues. They may have a story you don’t even know about. Maybe they are struggling with getting a divorce, dealing with chronic pain, or are angry about being passed over for a promotion at work.

Everyone has a story. Choosing personal power says I can choose compassion- for how I think of myself and others- even when someone else does not deserve it.

That is personal power. I can choose not to lash out. Not to demean or ridicule someone else.

I can choose to say no if I don’t want someone to touch me- anywhere- that’s utilizing your personal power.

Saying no to drugs or drinking alcohol- that’s utilizing your personal power. You have a choice. And your choice is uniquely yours. So, think long and hard before you choose. Because your choices matter- you matter.

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We live in a world that is all about the external; what we see, do, wear, what we accomplish, what others say we should strive for…

The biggest gift you can give to yourself is the commitment to start now to question your thoughts. Start to question the messages that others give you (or have given you.) That is one way to be intentional about not giving your personal power away to others’ expectations.

Ask yourself, do I feel like I have to perform for my parents, partner, or anybody to feel worthy? Does it feel like I have to be someone I’m not to be accepted?

One of the ways you can know you are fully embracing your personal power is by not reacting to others’ messages, expectations, or demands.

Maintaining your personal power is about living according to your values- living in alignment with them in all areas of your life.

What I am suggesting is not easy. It involves not just accepting things you hear and messages you are given at face value. It means becoming intentional thinkers…

There is a genuine peace that comes from living authentically. A peace that comes from not letting anyone or anything define you except how you choose to live and be defined.

That is the beginning of finding and embracing your personal power.

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