When is the last time you got a papercut? The last time you got your heart broken? How about the time you forgot to pay a bill and saw the extra $29 late fee? When is the last time you sustained a physical injury, or had to deal with a plumbing problem? How have you felt when you’ve found yourself in distress over what is happening in our country?
Life. It’s rarely simple or pure. It often does not go according to plan. Sometimes we find ourselves in situations- relationships, a job, an unexpected medical diagnosis that just changes the course of our lives.
It is in these moments that it can feel like our emotions are just being tossed around like a leaf blowing in a wind storm.
It is common to live our life according to our circumstances. We are happy when things are going well, and sad, down or perhaps even depressed when things are looking bleak. Emotions are not right or wrong, they just are. And they give us clues what we ought to pay attention to.
Additionally, we do well when we choose our attitude, mood and perspectives in the midst of challenging circumstances. When faced with unanticipated challenges, though we may experience certain emotions, we still have choices.
Living beyond or above your circumstances, means intentionally making choices. It involves pausing long enough to notice how you feel without giving those feelings all of your power.
Victor Frankl spoke this truth: “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms- to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
This quote is from the book “Man’s Search for Meaning”. When we speak of unthinkable circumstances, Victor Frankl is speaking about choosing his attitude and search for meaning while suffering in a nazi concentration camp- a circumstance most of us cannot fathom.
Living with intention requires us to be present. It requires us to bring forth moments of pausing to create stillness, introspection, and the element of choice.
Circumstances come and go. We get the job, we lose the job. We get the partner and then things go sideways. When we are connected with our self, present, and aware, we can search for meaning, lessons or growth opportunities when things become difficult.
No matter what the circumstances, we can pause to find meaning in the suffering, in the challenges and in the darkest nights.
Additionally, one of the best ways I know how to be resilient during adversity and rise above my circumstances, is to separate out what I can control or influence, vs what I have no control over and need to let go.
Being resilient and choosing our attitude despite our circumstances requires us to own our thoughts, feelings and choices. To stop blame, shame and other negative coping mechanisms that prevent us from intentionally choosing a more positive way forward. We may not be able to control what happens to us, but we can exert control about how we choose to think about it.
And that alone is the difference between feeling grounded and growing vs feeling like the leaf- in the wind and tossed about.
Are you enjoying reading our blogs? We’d love to hear from you! Send comments, questions or add to the conversation at lesli@livewellkitsap.com.
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