How to Cope With Uncertainty

So, it’s business as usual for you right? 

Is there anything in our lives that feels “usual” right now?

Much like the pandemic, we are staring straight down the barrel of uncertainty once again.

These unknowns of what the new order of things will be from day to day make being an employee, a business owner, a parent, or just a human living in the USA extra challenging.

So how do we navigate this uncertain bumpy road – running the business of our life, not letting stress get the best of us, still making quality time with family, and trying to pivot and plan what our next moves are without losing our minds right now?

While I wish I had a crystal ball to reassure you that it will all be okay, I can offer the following as a way to manage stress, emotions and the landscape of uncertainty right now.

Consider the following:

1. Care for You First. I cannot emphasize enough… self care every day. Every day.  That may mean taking many mini breaks where you just pause to deep breathe.  Schedule a walk in the park or a hike on the weekend with family or a friend.  Get out in nature. Pause and breathe.  Schedule a massage, keep a gratitude journal and find one thing each day that brings you joy, and/ or feels restorative.

2. Manage Your Emotions.  For those of you with a chill temperament go on to no. 3.  For those that find themselves reactionary to every bit of bad news may I remind you that pausing, breathing and reminding yourself that it’s not worth stressing out over can be helpful. Snapping at your loved ones or acting out your frustrations will just lead to more problems both at work and at home.  If you have difficulty with emotional regulation, practice deep breathing, and pausing to consider how to respond, rather than react.

3. Take the news in small bites.  Much like the veggies you were forced to eat as a child, take in a small bite of news at a time.  Be intentional how you ingest it… Don’t let it be your first go to when you open your eyes, or the last thing you see and hear at night before bed. Limit yourself to how much news you will expose yourself to.

4. Make a “T chart”.  This one tool has been very valuable for many of my clients.  Unlike a “pro/ con” list, you will divide a sheet of paper with a vertical line down middle, and a horizontal line a quarter of the way down the page. ( Now you have your “T”).  On one side, label “Things I have control over” and on the other side of the line, “things I don’t have control over.”  Consider tackling just one issue or concern at a time.  Consider the best outcome, or even satisfactory outcomes.  Now begin to consider specifics of what you can and cannot control.  Once done, focus your energy on the column of things you can control, and pray/ meditate on surrendering the rest.

5. Keep a Healthy Perspective.  Our circumstances collectively, and your circumstances individually, are often temporary.  Even when things look bleak, we still have options.  Remind yourself that it is ok that you feel… sad, angry, worried or uncertain.  And then remind yourself that circumstances come and go.

6. Make a Decision to Regain and Maintain Your Peace.   Consider that even in the midst of the shit storm… we can still choose our peace. We have only to reflect on the words of Victor Frankl ( who endured a Nazi concentration camp) that we can have everything stripped from us, except one thing…He states, “ Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

7. Make extra time to contemplate your next 2-3 moves personally, professionally  and in your personal household. Do you need to pay off debt?  Shore up and ensure you have some cash on hand? If you are a business owner, might it be prudent to consider how you might need to pivot your business in light of what is happening with our economy right now?  Take time to breathe, think and strategize.  Do you need to have a family meeting about cutting back on unnecessary spending?  Taking action on the things you can, will likely feel empowering at a time when so many things are uncertain.

It is important to remember that your first job is taking care of you, then your family and your business or work life.  It’s a bit like the airplane rule of “put on your own mask first” in an emergency.

Only then will you be in a position to help yourself, your family, and essentially assist others.

These are trying times.  Let’s ensure that we are staying healthy, connecting with others, and supporting one another through these turbulent trials.

And do not let those who would have us live in fear and hatred divide us. We all bleed the same.  When it comes down to it, we all want the same- to be seen, valued, loved and to be safe.

Let’s focus our energies not on bickering about our differences, but rather uniting in our humanity and the things that make us humane.

Note from Live Well Kitsap:

If you are struggling with anxiety, depression, high stress or emotional dysregulation, reach out to one of our health professionals at www.livewellkitsap.com/mind-your-health.