For some it is easy to find joy this time of year. The twinkling lights, holiday parties and reminders of our faith can bring peace, love and joy to our hearts.
For others, the holidays can feel chaotic, lonely and /or stressful. This time of year can feel rife with the pain of having lost a loved one this year, or unrealistic expectations from a spouse or extended family. In some homes, money fights over holiday spending is ongoing and unresolved.
It is a season with unlimited possibilities for both things that make our heart and spirit sing, and also things that make us feel stricken with grief, sadness, remorse, frustration, anxiety or overwhelm.
So how do we find joy in the chaos? Here are some ideas.
1. Self Care first. While that is really difficult for some, self care can mean taking a time out when you start to become anxious or overwhelmed. It means tuning inward and listening for those somatic ( bodily) clues that our body gives us, like our breath changing, our muscles becoming more tense, etc. Pay attention inwardly so you can respond as needed when needed.
2. Set Boundaries in the moment. Recognizing it is ok to say that you are not available to help right now, or that you need a short break is perfectly ok and sometimes absolutely necessary. If someone is asking intrusive questions, changing the subject, or stating that you are not ready to talk about that subject right now, and then ask about something pertaining to their life.
3. Look for the joyful moments. When we have been dealing with grief, depression, anxiety or relationship issues, it can be difficult to see joy filled moments, so remind yourself to look for them. Maybe you pause to take a walk in the rain or admire some Christmas lights or decorations. Notice a smile on a child’s face as they are opening a gift. You can hold space to feel both joy and sadness.
Be sure to be present wherever you are, and whoever you are with. This will allow you to both care for yourself and others and to be intentional about finding the moments of joy even when all around you may feel like chaos.
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